26 REDS & A BOTTLE OF WINE

It's Ash Wednesday which is when Jesus, um, did this thing, um, with, ahhhhh and there was a fire... No seriously. It commemorates the day Jesus was hung over after Mardi Gras (Jesus was French)

I forget what it is. My grandmother once told me and I was like "Whatever, as long as I get to cut school!" Since then cutting out on my responsibilities has been a big part of Ash Wednesday. Except I don't go to Church because in my paranoid state I think the ash cross is a dead giveaway to anyone with a rifle and a Catholic grudge.

It's the one day of the year I feel Catholic. The one day that doesn't involve weddings or funerals. Don't get me wrong, I'm not turning into a pious man or anything. Although I'd be a good get for God. Maybe. We'll see what happens when I become a free agent.