26 REDS & A BOTTLE OF WINE

Does anyone remember mono? When I was in junior high school it was the worst thing that could happen to you. I remember no one would drink out of the same can of coke out of mono fear. It was like sars, bird flu and the cooties all rolled into one. Then, you get to high school and everyone is swapping spit in the hallway. Mono just kind of went away. Like sars, bird flu and cooties.

And what about pink eye? Has anyone over the age of eight ever had pink eye? When you're seven and you rub your eye you get treated like a superfund site. Meanwhile I still have never seen anyone with pink eye.