26 REDS & A BOTTLE OF WINE

Take a look at the face of a pervert. If you see this man anywhere near your pets and/or livestock call the police.
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During what can only be described as an afternoon of drinking with Jesus, Leroy Donald Johnson, 52, a deputy fire chief in Mesa Arizona, went looking for love in all the wrong places. By wrong places I mean his neighbor’s barn and by looking for love I mean his neighbor’s sheep’s bathing suit area.

After his teenage daughter caught a curious glimpse of the neighbor dragging a young sheep into the barn the unnamed neighbor went to have a look.

It’s hard to know what to do when you find your neighbor in you barn stinking of booze. But when he’s also wearing his pants as ankle warmers and is dancing the horizontal mambo with your best sheep you’re really in uncharted waters. Freaking out doesn’t seem that bad an idea. Calling the police seems more reasonable.

Leroy “Pervie” Johnson (his fireman nickname) copped to it saying “You caught me… I tried to (expletive) your sheep”.

Well, we can (expletively) see that. Pull up your pants you (expletiving) pervert.

The Mesa fire department has put Johnson on paid leave until an investigation can be done. I’m not sure what the grounds are for firing him. I don’t think being a drunk pervert is a actionable offense. Not that I can imagine old Leroy is looking forward to that next shift at the house.

This is my favorite bit from the article:

‘"I think it's disgusting," Sheriff Joe Arpaio said. "I think of Gandhi who said you judge the morality of a country by the way they treat their animals. . . . I do look at (bestiality) as some type of animal cruelty."’

That Sheriff Joe Arpaio, setting the disgusting bar somewhere near drunkenly boning your neighbor’s sheep.

Well maybe, but if you ask me that sheep was asking for it… I mean, just look at the way she was dressed.

So, for setting the bar for beer goggles at a all time low, Leroy Johnson, soon to be ex-deputy fire chief of Mesa Arizona, you are the 26 Reds and a Bottle of Wine Person of the Week