26 REDS & A BOTTLE OF WINE

First off I think the characterization of darwinulids as "shrimp-like' is a major insult to shrimp everywhere.

So these gross things don't have sex, which is good cause then you don't have to imagine them having sex. The female produces eggs which do not need to be fertilized by sperm, which is good cause them you don't have to imagine their sperm. The evolutionary upshot is that there hasn't been a male darwinulids in 200 million years or so. That's right, sisters are doing it for themselves.

Of course now it seems possible that scientists were just flat out lazy when they made those claims. Three males were recently discovered among hundreds of females. Scientists aren't sure if they serve any sexual function, which is a cold-blooded why of saying their pussies and couldn't get no ass in a ass factory.

The human equivalent is that one guy in college who walked around campus hanging out with five girls with that stupid smirk on his face thinking to himself: "I'm hanging out with five chicks, there's no way I'm not getting laid". That guy never got laid either.