INTERNET PIE: WORLD'S SMARTEST MAN ALSO WORLD'S SMARTEST-ASS

So, in case you hadn't heard, Stephen Hawkings (no relation to "Screaming" Jay Hawkings (I don't think (What a great idea for a sitcom))) got drunk and posted a rather snarky rhetorical question on Yahoo Answers:

"In a world that is in chaos politically, socially and environmentally, how can the human race sustain another 100 years?"

First off, before I go any further let me share with you Professor Hawkings profile.

He also like The Strokes and Chuck Palahniuk novels.

As of this posting Dr. Hawkings (and that's not Dr. like Dr. Dre (eeeeeast-sidddddde)) has received 22129 answers, which is 22107 more than I received when I posted the question "Why don't girls like me?"

Here are some of the highlights but as you read this remember that although Dr. Hawkings is in a wheelchair he isn't like that kid in a wheelchair who hangs out on the corner of 8th Ave and 14th Street and giggles while he plays with himself through his shorts. Dr. Hawkings is The Lucasian Professor of mathematics at the University of Cambridge. A positions held in 1669 by Issac fucking Newton, inventor of the fig newton!! THE FIG fucking NEWTON!!!

The fun is all after the jump!!!


You know when CNN has a call in vote on some hot button issue and 45% say yes and 52% say no and 3% are unsure and you're always wondering "Who called up CNN to tell them they were unsure?" These people... Just in case The Lucasian Professor at Cambridge wanted to know, John f is glib.





Speaking of glib it seemed as though all the religious answers had this sort of snide assholey tone to them. What happened to religious people in this country? When they had no power they were all sunshine and rainbows, handing out "Jesus loves you" pamphlets at Halloween. Give them the Supreme Court, the White House and both houses of Congress and they turn into America's high school hall monitors.





But to be fair and honest, and at 26 Reds we are nothing if we are not fair and honest (to the point of being kinda dicks about it) the atheists were pretty glib too. Banning organized religion is the atheists answer to everything. It's like their "legalize pot"




Asimov's 5th Law of Robotics: Eggman is a total fucking jackass.









Some people just total missed the point. You wonder what 33% of the population is supporting George Bush? Here's your answer... The guy who thinks Mexican dishwashers are the greatest threat to world stability. When I die I don't care is I go to Heaven or Hell as long at Steven77 is in the other place.



BECAUSE this is the internet you knew someone was going to get all crazy on your ass... I have the feeling that bhaijaanfahd is holding out on us... I bet he's MUCH crazier on his own website!





In the mid-1980s there were all these great post-apocalypse movies made that were all set like in 1996 and 1999. The most advanced piece of technology they had was the crossbow and for some reason women's clothes ripped off at alarming rates. Adam S totally nails this one. He's 25 years late but still... He's like Nostradamus for retards.








If what "Sunshine" [snarky comment redacted] is asking is if I'd rather die in a fiery holocaust or make candles and bang ugly chicks, well, Sunshine, hate to tell you...




Ricardo's got the spirit!!!









I mean, let's get down to brass tacks here! What season of The Real World was he on?





I've saved the best for last... Without further comment I present to you the wisdom of Sam.I.Am